almost-quitting-day

Two years ago this month I almost quit my job. I almost walked away from fourteen years of experience and degrees I earned specifically for my field. I almost walked away from a job I dreamed about and prepared for since I was fourteen years old. It was a dark, sad, angry day filled with bitterness and disappointment and something had to change. Yet the day after my almost-quitting-day, I returned.

I continued to turn off the alarm at 5am, made a cup of coffee in the dark morning, slowly woke up by going through the same mundane routine, got into the car and drove to work. I drove myself into the same parking lot instead of taking the exit ramp to the nearest highway and driving as far away as possible. Every single day I nervously wondered, “Will this be better, or worse, than yesterday?”

Two years later, I am in the same profession, at the same location, in the same position and I frequently park in the same parking space. It is a good place to be.

What changed? Not much. The building is the same. The people I work with have the same struggles, successes, happy days and worse days. We have our weaknesses and strengths. We are viewed the same way by the public—some people love us and some people hate us.

I have changed. My mind has changed and my reality is different. Here are the best aspects of my job, things I could no longer see two years ago:

  • I spend my days with excited, energetic people. They are not always excited about my influence in their life but many are. They all are passionate about many things. Sometimes they don’t seem to care about anything, until they do again, and we all regain our purpose. They laugh a lot, I laugh a lot. Sometimes I laugh at them and they frequently laugh at me.
  • I make a positive difference in the lives of people daily.
  • The place I work has facilities that make our lives easier. Most of the world never gets to enjoy our privileges. We have access to the latest technology. Our library is filled with resources. Our cafeteria is always stocked with food. We also have electricity, furniture, working restrooms and running water. Everyone can drink from the water fountain without ever wondering if the water will make them sick.
  • I am constantly learning about myself and others, therefore I am never bored. If I learn one new thing each day it is a very    s l o w   day. I am constantly searching for new ideas, new techniques and new possibilities. I have to be well-versed in a variety of subjects and ready to discuss science, politics, history, problem-solving, literature, technology, geography, psychology, world religions, popular culture, peace-making, cultural traditions and family dynamics.  “My people” teach me at least as much as I teach them. They frequently teach me things I did not want to know and they frequently remind me of things I sometimes forget. They remind me why I stayed for two more years.

We all teach each other patience.

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12 thoughts on “almost-quitting-day

  1. Fantastic first writing post. I am left wanting to know what happened that day of “almost quitting”. But I am glad you found so many positives by returning and seem to be thriving now that you have a new perspective.

    • Perhaps I will get to what happened that day later, but as I think of it…that rotten day just doesn’t matter so much to me any more. I am just thankful for new ways of thinking. Thank you for your comment and taking the time to read the post!

    • (I hope you don’t mind that I shortened one of the words you wrote.) I feel I communicate better through photos…the writing is absolutely a work-in-progress! I really appreciate your feedback—thank you.

    • Thank your for your comment! Though it is still difficult sometimes, it is amazing to experience the impact of actively seeking the “good” in situations. I am glad I could write something that resonates with you.

  2. Hi! Great post. I am very curious to read more about what changed in you so that you experienced a shift in your perspective. What made this new perspective come about? I like to read about how change really happens for people as opposed to our theories of how change will or might happen.

    • Thank you, Sasha. Honestly, at the time, the only thing I had control over was my own thinking—there were no other options—and something had to change. It did work out well and has positively affected other aspects of my life too. I may expand more on that later. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

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